


Taming Him Down

by cyanideinsomnia



Series: Post-Banishment Lucio [7]
Category: The Arcana (Visual Novel)
Genre: Abandonment Issues, Complicated Relationships, Crying, Developing Friendships, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Feral Behavior, Gen, Gender-Neutral Apprentice (The Arcana), Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Multi, Nadia (The Arcana) Route - Upright Ending, Older Characters, Post-Banishment Lucio (The Arcana), Post-Canon, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rehabilitation, Trust Issues, treating a broken goat w/ some goddamn compassion
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-30
Updated: 2021-01-26
Packaged: 2021-03-07 03:28:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26200111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cyanideinsomnia/pseuds/cyanideinsomnia
Summary: Several days after returning from the realms, they couldn’t stop thinking about Lucio.
Relationships: Apprentice & Lucio (The Arcana), Apprentice/Nadia (The Arcana)
Series: Post-Banishment Lucio [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1680019
Comments: 14
Kudos: 54





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Don't Feed The Animals](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23523778) by [cyanideinsomnia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cyanideinsomnia/pseuds/cyanideinsomnia). 
  * Inspired by [Dangerous](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26172400) by [cyanideinsomnia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cyanideinsomnia/pseuds/cyanideinsomnia). 



> i wrote this before Dangerous, but it comes after :3c
> 
> don't let the ? fool you, this one isn't going to become a big-ass novel, i just needed to break it up

“Nadi, do we still have any of Lucio’s old clothes?” 

The magician was awkwardly hovering by the Countess’ bed, sunrise barely peeking through the stained glass windows. This was much earlier than they usually got up, but they expected a long trip ahead of them.

Several days after returning from the realms, they couldn’t stop thinking about Lucio.

They would see those betrayed, haunted eyes when they went to sleep, when they were at court, even when they were just trying to have a nice relaxing bath with their wife. They found themself wondering if they should have brought him back with them anyway, even though it would have ended just as disastrously.

He was scared and alone and lonely, trapped in there all by himself, clearly unable to handle it. Even if it was for selfish reasons, he had tried to help them and Nadia at the end, and in return they had abandoned him. 

They weren’t sure if the punishment was the same worth as his crimes, anymore. Not after seeing what it had done to him. A jail cell would be kinder.

It grew more certain with each passing day. They couldn’t free him, but they had to find him.

To return the armor, of course, but mainly to see if he was still alive to take said armor. Time flowed differently in there, there was no telling what he could have gotten into after they left. 

If he turned up dead, that was still closure. They hoped it wouldn’t come to that.

On this plane of reality, one tyrian eye blearily blinked open, barely focused on their face. This was definitely much too early in the day for Nadia.

“Hm? Oh.. I thought we did away with all of that.. but you’re welcome to look, he may have left some stashed somewhere we missed.” She murmured into the pillows, focusing a little harder on them with a glint of curiosity in her gaze. “Whyever for?”

“I was thinking of dropping ‘em off to the less fortunate, you know.”

It wasn’t entirely untrue.

Nadia chuckled. “He would hate that.”

They smiled and leaned over her, brushing away a few strands of crimson in order to press a kiss to her regal forehead. “I also wanted you to know I’m not going to be at court today, I’m making a day trip out of the city.”

“Shirking responsibilities, dear? Asra taught you too well.” She languidly leaned up from her position among fine pillows, a brush of her own lips against theirs, and they had to clamp down the urge to join her in bed. “I believe I may allow it, this time.”

“You’re much too merciful, milady.” They gave a ridiculously deep bow, specifically to hear her sleepy little laugh again.

“Go on, before I change my mind.”

She slowly stretched with a yawn, then rolled over so that her back was to them, giving them unspoken permission to leave her. 

They paused for a moment to gaze over the loose waterfall of her hair strewn across the sheets - ah, they never tired of the sight - before slowly padding out of her bedroom, whispering ‘I love you’ and closing the door behind them.

The next stop was their own room, and failing that, the wing itself - and failing _that_ , they would have to borrow some clothing from similarly proportioned servants, and he would just have to deal with it. Given the condition of his attire now, beggars couldn't be choosers.

They managed to find some shirts and two pairs of pants, as well as a few grooming supplies and a bottle of red wine in a secret false bottom in the trunk at the foot of their bed. There were more elaborate outfits - capes, sequins, the works - stashed away in the room behind where his painting once stood, as even after he was gone, no one was brave enough to clean in there. 

He was only getting _one_ nice suit back, to save on space. 

Their bag was already pretty hefty by the time they went down to the kitchens for some food and a flask of water - at least, they hoped it was water - and this was after they'd cleared out most everything that didn't pertain to their trip. 

They realized they should have looked for some kind of entertainment for him, but they had already asked Nadia one suspicious question, and anyone who knew him as well was no longer here. 

Maybe they would get lucky enough for a second trip.

The last stop was where Mercedes and Melchior were being kept, Mercedes still wearing her muzzle and scowling up at them with her one red eye as though they were plotting her downfall.

They knelt down next to them and whispered, "You guys have anything you want me to bring to Lucio?"

In an instant both hounds perked up, tails wagging as furiously as if they had said Lucio was here. They wondered how well these guys would make it on a trip to the realms themselves.. though it would be a lot more noticeable if _they_ went missing than some meat and pants.

Melchior turned and trotted over to the corner of his cage, plucking up a small, worn goat plushie in his jaws and dropping it in front of them with an expectant _baroo._

"Your favorite-- if I take this, you do realize you can't play with it anymore, don't you?"

His tail just kept wagging.

"Mercedes?"

She just huffed and flopped down, having figured out that they hadn't brought her master with them.

They carefully stashed the plush in their bag and started to get up with a frown. "I'll tell him you said hi."

" _Awwwrrarr_." She whined.

"Okay, I'll tell him you said _awwwrrarr._ I'm sure he knows what that means."

The magician made their way out of the dog pen, heading towards the fountain in the middle of the Gardens, mentally checking their inventory. Armor, clothes, food, water, not water, makeup, a brush, a dog toy.. that should be everything. 

Here’s hoping they weren’t bringing all this to a corpse.

***

They found Lucio in the same idyllic grove of trees they left him, dressed and armored again, slumped against the very same tree they’d sat under together. Another pang of guilt went through them, wondering if he had been waiting here for them to come back the whole time.

God, it really _was_ like abandoning a dog.

“Lucio?” Please be asleep. “Hey, uh, it’s me again. Are you okay?”

He didn’t stir.

They crept forward and gently nudged one sunken shoulder, then a little harder. 

Eventually, thankfully, his eyes slowly blinked open, blearily squinting up at them in a manner not unlike his ex-wife earlier. A glimmer of recognition and relief danced through his gaze, lips twitching into a pathetic little smile - which swiftly dropped as something between horror and panic filled his eyes instead.

“No, no, you stay the hell away from me,” He abruptly jerked upright, scooting away from the magician as though he expected them to attack. “You can’t be here. You’re here and if _you’re_ here, _he’s_ here, he’s going to kill me.”

“He’s not--”

They made the mistake of reaching for him, and immediately Lucio jumped up and began climbing the tree, surprisingly agile despite his broken state, curling up somewhere higher up in the branches and covering his head with his hands. They could see the leaves around him trembling.

“Just-- just leave me alone and go home, please, I can’t risk it, I can’t-- I don’t want to die again.”

He seemed to be genuinely scared of Asra. They made a mental note to ask Asra about that later - they didn’t think he would be so cruel as to _torture_ him, but he’d clearly done _something_.

“It’s okay, he doesn’t know this time, I promise.” They set down their bag at the base of the tree and started pulling out their offerings, mainly the food. They would probably have better luck luring him down than trying to climb up after him. “No one’s going to hurt you.”

The branches only whined, leaves trembling harder.

“C’mon, Lucio. I came out here specifically to see you and you’re gonna make me talk to a tree, huh?”

A glimmer of wet silver peered down at them through golden fingers. “You… came to see me..?”

“Well, yeah? Why else would I come here?” They heard a soft sniffle in the branches that distantly sounded like ‘I dunno, magicky stuff’. “.. are you crying?”

A louder sniff. 

“... no.”

They sighed and turned their attention back to the food, carefully unwrapping one of the sausages, heat and meat smell wafting off it almost immediately. They heard a shift of leaves and a whimper of interest, though he didn’t move to come down just yet.

“I _did_ bring you some food,” They turned the sausage in their hands, admiring it. “But if you’re gonna stay up there, I guess I have to eat it all by myself.”

“That’s just cruel.” 

He was shifting impatiently in the branches, tears forgotten, eyes focused on the meat, very clearly torn between safety and hunger.

“I’m not climbing in these shoes.” The magician shrugged, and moved to take a bite.

There was a flash of gold and fur and the sausage was out of their hand mid-motion, Lucio having swooped down from the tree like a goddamn bird of prey, complete with his claws piercing through the meat. He started to move back towards the tree, then hesitated, staring at his prize with that same distant look as before.

After a moment his left hand offered the sausage back to them, the right moving to pick at the armor on it, eyes downcast, his brows furrowed as if he was about to start crying again.

“You, uh-- you already paid me, remember?” They awkwardly smiled, holding up the pieces of armor from their bag. 

He stared at the armor instead, confused and bewildered, as if he’d forgotten why they might have it. His right hand stopped picking and fell to the gap at his elbow, slowly drawing the meat back towards himself, still glancing between them and his prize, looking for approval.

“You can keep it. It’s yours.”

Once again he devoured it in an instant like a starving animal, licking the grease off his claws. They immediately offered him another sausage, and some cheese, which was answered with more bewildered staring as if he couldn’t understand what they were doing.

“It’s all yours.” They set the food down in his lap, followed by the armor. “I brought it for you.”

He continued to just sit there and stare at them as they started pulling out more things from their bag, making a neat little pile in front of him. 

Trembling fingers reached for the pile - then abruptly drew back, tucking up under his furs instead, turning his head away from it as if it hurt him to see it. “I can’t. I can’t take any of it. You’re just _taunting_ me now.”

“I am not. I’m giving it to you. For free. No strings attached.”

He shook his head and whined. “Stop it.”

“Why _can’t_ you take it?” They frowned, remembering this was a problem the last time. “What’s stopping you from taking it, Lucio? They’re mostly your things to begin with.”

 _What more do you_ want _from me?_

“Do you think I’m going to take them away from you?”

“I don’t-- I don’t wanna be in debt. Not again.” He murmured, finally. “I don’t want you to have more stuff to hold over my head. You already have my life. You have everything and I have _nothing_. I can’t do this again.”

Their heart sank into their knees. No wonder he’d been so weird about taking anything from them without ‘paying’ for it. Desperately trying to even out what he must have seen as a huge gap between them, everything he owned just a drop in the bucket.

He believed he owed them everything - and worse, he expected them to rub his nose in it.

“Lucio.. I meant it when I said there’s no strings attached.” They reached over and gently placed a hand on his shoulder, heart falling further when they felt him tense. “When I help people, I don’t expect anything back. I’m definitely not gonna lord it over you. I’m not that kind of person.”

The former Count quietly sniffled. “... then what kind of person _are_ you?”

Said as if he couldn’t believe there _was_ any other kind of person.

“The kind of person that’s gonna start crying in a minute too if you keep on like this, and then you’re going to have to deal with that. All snotty and gross, big green boogers _everywhere_.” 

“.. ew.”

They attempted a smile, letting go of him to gently nudge the pile towards him again. “I promise you, it’s okay. You don’t owe me anything. You’re free.”

He gave a pathetic little snurf, patting at his eyes with his furs, his attention drawing back to the food they’d given him. He hesitantly plucked up the cheese in his claws, still shaking, eyes occasionally warily flicking back towards them as if making sure they weren’t going to change their mind and take it back. 

“.. you’re making a big mistake, you know. Doing that.”

“How’s that?”

“Most people would be thrilled to have me in a life debt. You could tell me to do anything you wanted and I’d just have to do it.” He was a bit more careful in eating this one, perhaps not quite as familiar with the concept of cheese anymore. “There’s a lot of wasted possibilities there.”

They frowned. “I’m not an expert on this, but I don’t think that’s how a life debt is usually supposed to go.”

“I owe you, you own me. Seems pretty straightforward to me.” 

His right hand was absently rubbing at his throat again, where the Devil’s chains once were. He was equating them with the Devil. God, that was even worse.

“Asra would absolutely take advantage of it, if he was the one that broke me out. Probably make me bow down and lick his feet or something. He likes seeing me like this. He wants me to suffer.”

“Asra’s not like that either.”

But it was unsettlingly easy to imagine their former master stepping on his neck when he’d groveled for them to take him home. They shook their head and handed him more food, hoping to distract him from this line of thought.

“Says you.” Lucio scoffed, but gladly took the bait, devouring it with the same gusto as before, including another bit of cheese. 

They weren’t entirely sure if there was going to be a stopping point for him. Clearly they should have taken an extra bag just for food. They were gratified to see he had no qualms about snatching up the flask, sniffing at it before popping it open and taking a deep swig of the contents.

“That is water, right?” They blurted out, immediately concerned. “I didn’t bring vodka, right?”

“This could’ve been vodka?” He gasped as he drew back, a bit of water trickling down his chin.

He frowned at the flask, then offered it back to them with a very serious face.

“Turn it into vodka.”

Despite themself the magician burst into laughter, shaking their head and pushing it back toward him. “What? No, I’m not-- just drink your damn water. It’s good for you.”

His lips twisted into a pout, obediently pulling it back towards his face. “What good are you, then? Won’t take me home, won’t turn water into booze, won’t even use me as a slave.” 

His eyes alighted upon the bottle of red wine in the pile.

“.. I’ll let you live this time.”

Thankfully he didn’t pop it open to drink it yet, instead squirreling it away behind him as he leaned over to inspect the rest of the pile, keeping the lip of the flask up against his own lips to sip on it. This time he allowed his trembling hand to make contact, gently sorting through their offerings. 

He fell silent for a long moment, expression growing distant and melancholic, grip faltering on the shirt he was trying to drag out of the pile, glancing back towards them with those same haunted eyes. There was a glimmer of _hope_ , they realized, and that hurt the most.

“A-are.. are you _sure_ you can’t take me home?”

“I’m sorry. I can’t.” They sighed. “I was hoping bringing some of home to you might help.”

His shoulders slumped in defeat, but this time he didn’t seem ready to fly into a fit about it. They weren’t sure this was any better. “S’pose you couldn’t fit my bed in that magic bag, huh?” 

“Oh, I downgraded to a smaller bed. You wouldn’t like it. Not even red either.”

They made a mental note to pack him some bedding on the next trip.

Lucio gave a dramatic sigh and finally tugged a shirt and one of the pairs of pants free, startling as Melchior’s toy goat tumbled loose with them with an indignant squeak.

He stared at it as if this was the first he’d ever seen of it, clothing forgotten as he gingerly plucked it up with his claws, just as carefully transferring it to his right hand as though he was afraid it would disintegrate in his grasp.

Tears were gathering in his eyes again, staring at them in disbelief instead. “This is… you _robbed_ my _dogs_??”

“Wh-- no! He gave it to you! I asked!” He slowly pulled the goat close to his chest like cradling a child, breath hitching in a sob. “Mercedes just wanted to give you a message: _awwwrrarr._ I don’t know what she means but she was very clear on this.”

Now he was definitely crying. “She-- she wants me to scratch her back with the claws. Have they been scritching her? Did you scritch her??”

“Uh, yeah,” They lied, feeling a bit guilty that they hadn’t tried, considering her muzzle.

“They’re such good dogs. They need to be spoiled. They need their daddy.” He buried his face in the little goat, curling up and shaking. “I miss them so much. Sometimes I can hear them barking. I was so scared she got rid of them when she got rid of me.”

They weren’t about to tell him Nadia had considered it when Mercedes had been in the grips of her biting fit. Portia had talked her down, asked for another chance, compromised with the muzzle. They definitely weren’t going to tell him she’d had the same look in her eye as judging her master at the end, realizing she was just as scared and angry as he had been.

They didn’t want to think about what would happen if she’d gone through with it, and they had to tell him he only had one dog. They didn’t want to think about if they had to tell him he hadn’t any dogs at all.

“Hey, it’s okay, they’re okay,” Without thinking the magician moved around the pile to wrap their arms around him, pulling his shaking form close in a hug.

He didn’t fight them, falling dead still and tensing up in their grip, jerking his head up from the goat toy to stare at them with wide, bewildered eyes, still crying. “Wh-what the hell are you doing?”

“It’s a hug.” They frowned. “You remember hugs, don’t you?”

“You’re..? I don’t understand..” He hiccuped. “You should hate me and yet.. you’re _hugging_ me..”

“Do you want me to stop?”

They began to release him, and with a panicked whimper he practically shoved his body up against them, burying his face in their neck. “Don’t-- don’t let go. Please. I won’t question it again, I promise. Just don’t let go.”

“You don’t have to promise me anything.. I was just making sure you were okay with it..” They shifted a bit to pull him into their lap, one arm across his back, the other stroking his mangy mop of hair, because that was what they felt was most natural for something like this. 

Lucio immediately curled up in their lap like he belonged there, shifting his grip on the goat to wrap one arm around their own back, practically clinging to them, sobbing into their shoulder. They wondered when was the last time someone had held him like this, before now. It wasn’t while he had their body, that was for certain.

They couldn’t really see Nadia doing it, either, given how she acted around him. How everyone had acted around him. He didn’t have any friends in the Palace. 

He was alone long before they had abandoned him out here.

These tears were probably a long time coming.

***

The magician didn’t realize how tired they had been until they found themself waking up against the tree sometime later, body stiff and painful. The sky was dark, but there was no telling what time it was here.

Lucio hadn’t moved, draped against them in a deep sleep, looking surprisingly peaceful despite the emotional torrent that had led him to this. He had cried himself to sleep.

Oh, but his weight was crushing their legs. They couldn’t stay like this.

They very gingerly curled their fingers around his arm, slowly, carefully inching it off their body - only to have it clamp down twice as tight with a quiet whimper in his sleep, his own body automatically crushing tighter against them. Another pang of guilt swept through them unbidden, grip faltering on his furs. 

They hated to move him. They weren’t sure when was the last time he’d gotten _any_ sleep beyond how they found him, given the heavy bags under his eyes. 

This really hurt, though, and he’d had all … unspecified time to sleep.

“Lucio,” They sighed, shifting their grip to his right shoulder instead, gently shaking it. “Lucio, get up, you’re squishing me.”

“Hhnnf,” Was his only response, snuggling against their neck.

They shook his shoulder harder, and he still didn’t stir. Or he was pretending to stay asleep. After a moment, a thought came to them, remembering how they used to wake Asra up when he’d been sacked out for hours. Magic ran into their fingertips, gathering up in icy little points that they immediately pressed to the nearest patch of bare skin.

He jolted off their lap with a sharp yip and a betrayed pout once he’d seemed to figure out they were responsible for it. Maybe Asra had done the same thing in the Palace. 

“You could’ve just _told_ me,” He sniffed.

“I did.”

“... oh.”

Lucio sheepishly collected his goat off the ground, staring at the dirt instead of the magician.

Silence fell over the dark forest, and it brought with it a heavy, unspoken thought. Hanging over their head, likely at the back of his mind, too. They tried to ignore it as long as they could, given that they didn’t know how much time had passed on the other side. Maybe an hour. Maybe a day.

They busied themself with packing the things back into the bag before handing it to him, figuring it would be easier to carry than everything separately. He opened his mouth as if he was about to question it, looked at their face, then closed it again, carefully curling his fingers around the strap. They let their own fingers linger on the leather so that they touched, a little more human contact.

“I should probably be getting back,” They said finally.

He nearly dropped his prize, staring at them in horror. “What? No. You can’t. You just _got_ here.”

They started to get up, and he immediately grabbed for their arm, pulling them back down towards him. His grip was shaking all over again. 

“I can’t stay here, Lucio,” They gently tugged his hands off their arm, wincing as they twisted around to grab that hand with the same desperation. “I’ll come back, I promise, but I have to go, okay?”

“Don’t leave me. Please. I don’t want to be alone again.”

“Lucio…”

They didn’t put any force behind it, but he still flinched from their tone, letting them go and whining, collecting his goat again and holding that instead. He was probably going to start crying again, even before they left.

The magician frowned, kneeling down next to him. “I’m going to come back sooner this time, okay? I’m not going to abandon you. Here, give me your hand.”

He sniffled and hesitantly offered his golden one, palm up, visibly trembling. 

They gently took it, magic gathering in their hands again, manifesting in a small red thread they wrapped around his wrist. Not too tight, but not too loose. He just stared at them for a moment, tugging his arm back to inspect it.

“What’s this, the red string of fate?” He gave a pathetic little chuckle. “Are you trying to say something?”

“It’s a tracking spell, you dingus,” They snorted, tying the other end of the ‘thread’ to their index finger, like a reminder. “So I can find you again.”

His eyes widened in disbelief, clutching his goat more tightly. “You.. _want_ to find me?”

“How am I supposed to come back to you if I don’t know where you are, huh?” 

He didn’t have an answer to that, staring at the string with something like reverence. As though the gods themselves had come down and tied them together. 

“I made sure it can go both ways, so if you need me before I make another visit,” They continued, reaching over to his end and lightly tugging on it. “Just pull on it, okay?”

They’d barely finished speaking before he imitated the motion with an expectant look.

“When I’m not here, I mean.”

He tugged again and frowned. “But I need you here.”

Said as matter-of-fact as stating the weather.

“C’mon, Lucio. I can’t bring you anything new if I can’t leave, can I?”

“... you drive a hard bargain.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "How long were you waiting for me to come back??" They blurted out before they could stop themself. 
> 
> ".. I don't know."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mc's name is redacted bc it's no one in particular, potentially yours if they have few enough braincells

_ Tap. Tap. Tap tap. _

To say that they were distracted from today’s meeting was an understatement.

_ Tap tap. _

The magician found themself engrossed in a rather elaborate daydream of sneaking down to the dog kennel, opening up Mercedes’ and Melchior’s pens - Mercedes would have to keep her muzzle, just in case - and somehow leading them out of the Palace, into the Gardens and then the fountain without being noticed.

_ Taptaptap. _

Oh, and then they would have to make sure to bring food for them, and more food for him, which they supposed could be the same given he’d eat just about anything they gave him. Did they need anything else? Special dog brushes?? 

They should have paid more attention to them  _ before  _ all this, so it wouldn’t seem so odd to ask about that. Maybe they could ask to take them on a walk and then lie and say they escaped the Palace grounds. That might be easier than the entire stealth mission. 

But then there would be a search party…

_ Taptaptaptaptap. _

“Can you--  _ maybe _ stop tapping your finger like that??” Portia’s voice startled them, and they glanced up to see the beleaguered chamberlain staring at them across the table. “I know this is boring stuff, but that’s really distracting.”

“Oh-- uh-- sorry.” They hadn’t realized they were doing that.

Although it was odd that it was just the  _ one  _ finger, their right index, and after a moment longer it tapped against the table again in rapid succession as if by its own will.

“Dammit ███████! What did I  _ just  _ say??”

The magician yelped and immediately clapped their other hand over it as if catching a spider, just as they felt another quick and urgent staccato. “Sorry, sorry, I didn’t mean to. I’m just-- uh. Distracted. Please, go ahead, Chamberlain.”

Portia stared at them for a long moment, a flicker of concern and annoyance in bright blue eyes before turning her attention back to the rest of the table. At the head of the table, they could feel more than see the similarly suspicious gaze of their wife.

They could still feel their finger twitching, two more rapid tugs and then a sharp yank. 

Lucio. It was Lucio.

He was trying to get their attention. It felt like it was an emergency. At once a myriad of horrible things that could have happened to him cropped up in their mind. 

They abruptly shoved themself up and out of their chair, a horrendous screeching sound of wood on marble once again gaining the attention of all gathered, including Nadia. 

“I’m sorry-- I have to go-- I uh-- I left my familiar in the wash--”

“Wh--”

Before anyone could question this further, they turned and bolted out of the meeting room, dashing down through the kitchens to grab a loaf of bread and some healing herbs before high-tailing it into the Gardens, diving feet first into the fountain without a second thought.

***

They came out on the other side still kicking, gasping for breath, trying to orient themself. 

From what they could tell, it was the same grove of trees as before, and a familiar figure was hunched over something on the side of the tree, towards the roots.

“Lucio--?” They gasped. “Are you okay??”

He startled and turned towards them, eyes wide, staring at them as though he was struggling to remember who they were and why they would be here.

And when that recognition clicked, he suddenly leapt up and tackled them to the ground, both arms tightly wrapped around them in what they realized was meant to be a hug, muffling a sob into their shoulder.

“You-- you actually came back.” He lifted his head enough to stare at them in awe, tears rolling freely down gaunt cheeks. “I called and you came. You really came.” 

They frowned, trying to look over him despite their vision being obscured by scavenged fur and gold and silver hair, gently pressing a hand against his side in lieu of hugging him back. They could feel ribs, but none of them were broken. 

“You’re not hurt or anything? You’re okay?” A pause. “Physically, I mean.”

Lucio shook his head and buried his face into their shoulder again. 

They sighed and shifted so that they could hold him in their lap, gently stroking his hair. It was a bit softer now, with the addition of a brush, but he clearly hadn’t been anywhere to clean it yet. "You scared me, you know. I thought I was going to find you bleeding to death somewhere with all that pulling."

".. I thought you weren't coming back." He murmured against their neck, tone slightly guilty. "No one ever came back for me before."

They supposed that was as much an emergency for him as anything they'd considered, given his fragile emotional state. They couldn't fault him for not trusting their word - beyond some gifts and hugs, they hadn't earned that trust yet. They weren't sure they ever would, not completely.

"Did you bring me more food??"

"Oh, is  _ that _ what you called me for?" The magician chuckled. "All I could bring you was this."

They sighed and offered him the loaf of bread, thoroughly soaked from its trip through the fountain. They hadn't thought to cast a protection spell on it until it was too late. He frowned at it, but took it anyway, nose wrinkled in disgust before taking a very squishy bite out of it, water and bread slurry dripping down his chin.

"I-- you know you can ask for me to dry it out for you." 

"Nonsense, I like drinking my food." This was said with very obvious sarcasm, handing the sad little slug of wheat back to them.

They set about expunging the water with their magic, warming it up again before giving it over. "I'm sorry, I meant to get you more than that, but I thought it was an emergency and couldn't stop to pack anything. Did you already eat what I gave you?"

He was in the middle of cramming as much bread as possible into his mouth at once, pausing for a very ashamed bob of his head in a nod.

"Lucio.. you  _ are _ allowed to save things for later sometimes."

"Dunno if halfa later," He mumbled through his bread. "Eat now, live now."

After a moment he did shove a piece of it into the leather bag they had given him, already showing a few more signs of wear, as if he had indeed left this area at least once. He immediately flopped down across their legs like an oversized cat, and they began to reconsider that idea of never gaining his trust. He seemed willing to give it a lot easier than they thought.

"Do you want me to tell you about Vesuvia again?"

They felt him tense up against their thighs. ".. just sit with me. Please."

That was probably for the best. They weren't sure either of them could handle another fit like that.

The magician found themself drawn to gently stroke his hair again, running their fingers through it as he just lay there in their lap, feeling him slowly begin to relax. They wondered when was the last time he'd been able to relax, outside of sleeping on them. It looked like that was his intention this time, too, eyes slowly falling shut in something like contentment.

They were much more awake this time, however, and so they allowed their mind and eyes to wander while they stroked his hair, just marveling at how the light danced across the trees, glimmering along the edges of his armor. If it was cleaner, it would have gleamed.

Something about how the light caught the trunk of the tree before them wasn't quite right, however. 

There were a bunch of dark grooves in the bark, like claw marks, only more methodical and repetitive. Four upright, one across, over and over. Tally marks. A vain attempt to keep track of time that didn't move right.

As they squinted at these, they realized there were.. quite a lot of them. An unsettling amount. 

Their eyes fell to where Lucio had been hunched over, and their heart dropped as they found there was one half-done there.

"Lucio.. when did you make these?"

"Hm?" He had clearly drifted off. "Make what?"

"The tally marks."

He tensed again, snuggling more aggressively against them, his eyes remaining shut. "Don't look at those."

"How long were you waiting for me to come back??" They blurted out before they could stop themself. 

".. I don't know." 

After a long moment, when he seemed to realize the moment was truly well and broken, he sighed and slowly sat up beside them, still not looking at his own handiwork. Ashamed of them. The magician couldn’t help but look.

"After a while I think I forgot what I was waiting for. I just had to be  _ here _ , in this spot. It was  _ important. _ " They remembered the look in his eye when they had shown up just now, bewildered and uncomprehending. “This place does that a lot. I keep forgetting. I’m waiting for the day it makes me forget my own damn name.”

“It won’t get that bad, will it? It’d be kind of hard to forget  _ Count Lucio _ .” They frowned, thinking back to the early days with Asra, when they were hardly a person. But they had  _ died _ to become that helpless. Surely the realms wouldn’t destroy him so completely.

Would they?

Lucio gave them a tired, pained look. “The city already did. Noddy did, she said she’d make sure of it. Give it a few more years, you wouldn’t know me either. Not like  _ this _ .”

He gestured at himself, although the effect he was going for was a bit lost when they could see he had changed clothes beneath the mangy furs. He wasn’t quite so far gone he couldn’t try to dress more comfortably.

“Sometimes I wonder if I should just-- let it happen. Then it wouldn’t matter if anybody saw me like this, because that’d just be normal for me.” 

Tears began to well in his eyes again, suddenly staring at them with something like  _ expectation _ . 

“D’you think they’ll let me out of here if I don’t know who I am anymore?? Th-that was the problem, right? Me being me?”

“Shh, hey, no, it’s not like that,” They pulled him toward them in another hug before he could fully break down again, and he instantly clung to them like a lifeline. “You don’t have to forget who you are. It was just.. more about some choices you made.”

A lot of choices he made. And didn’t make. 

“I said I was sorry.” He sniffled.

“And I appreciated that, we both did. But sorry can’t fix everything.”

Another pathetic snurf. “.. sorry didn’t fix  _ anything _ .”

They supposed from his perspective, all apologizing had done was get him stranded in the magical realms. The alternative had been death, if Nadia had been less kind, but he either didn’t remember that or didn’t care.

His fingers tightened their grip on their clothing, tensing against them as if preparing for some kind of retribution. “... tell me about.. Nadia. Please. I miss her.”

“I shouldn’t, it’s just going to hurt you again,” They frowned. 

“... does she ever miss me? E-even a little bit??”

They breathed a deep sigh and steeled themself for another heartbreaking fit. “No, she doesn’t. You know she doesn’t. She moved on, like she said she would.” 

Lucio curled tighter against them, and they didn’t have to look to know he was crying again. “O-of course she did. I never doubted her for a second. I’m-- I wish I was as strong as her. She could conquer anything. She’d probably have half the realm eating out of her hands by now, if she was here.”

“Lucio, stop.”

“She wouldn’t  _ be  _ here. No one wanted to get rid of her. Everyone loved her. I..” 

“ _ Lucio _ .”

He startled and stared at them, still crying. 

“That isn’t going to help you and you know it,” The magician said firmly. “You have to move on, too. Let her go. It hurts, but you have to let her go.”

A brusque shake of his head and a soft whine. “But it’s  _ different _ . She already had someone to move on  _ to _ . You were there to catch her. I-- I don’t have anyone. I’ve lost everything else, I don’t want to lose her, too.”

“But you already did.”

“.. I know.”

All at once his body crumpled in their grasp, as if all the strength had drained out of him.

“I don’t think I ever had her in the first place.”

After a moment he slowly slid back down to lie across their legs, burying his face in his furs, a position that remained unchanged as they began to stroke what they could reach of his hair again, an attempt to recapture the warmth and companionship of earlier.

“You were right. You fucking warned me. I wasn’t supposed to think about that.” He hiccuped. “Can we go back to just-- sitting? I liked that.”

“Yeah, we can just sit.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Not that. You-- want to be my friend--” He shook his head. “But you don’t really gain anything by doing that, do you? I don’t-- I have nothing, remember? Why are you doing this?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was in development hell for a while because SOMEONE (lucio) wouldn't stop taking it in a bunch of different directions

The air was warm and muggy as the magician stepped out of the gate, the ground beneath them quickly turning to brackish water. They appeared to be in the midst of a dark mangrove forest, secluded and a bit disorienting, but not as ominous as it first seemed.

They were gratified to see it wasn’t the same patch of trees as before, but they weren’t entirely sure why Lucio would be  _ here _ .

“Lucio?”

Their voice startled a few ravens from the trees, an echo of annoyed cries as they took wing. There was a sudden cacophony of sloshing and splashing coming from behind them, turning towards it in time to witness something humanoid emerging from deeper waters. 

"It wasn’t me!"

It was Lucio, of course. His head and shoulders bobbed above water first, stringy mane strewn over his face, blindly pawing at the surface - as if he thought he was still submerged - until he seemed to realize where he was, squinting up at them.

He began to say something else a bit more  _ lucid _ , but his voice petered off as he stared off somewhere behind them, an odd, distant look in his eye, almost _ longing _ \- they were unsure of what had his attention until they felt their gateway close. 

Then he was focusing on them again, eyes immediately brightening. 

“You’re here! You found me!” Lucio slowly stood up, and they realized they could see a bit too much skin coming out of the water, especially as he began to wade towards them. “Is this an official visit??”

He was naked. He was naked and he looked like he was coming in for a hug.

They immediately covered their eyes with one hand and held up the other in a stop gesture in his general direction before he could get too close, feeling heat creep up their face. “Yes, I brought you a surprise-- but you have to put your pants on, first. Please.”

“I was taking a bath.” They could hear the pout in his voice. “Unless things have changed that much back home, you don’t do that with pants.”

“Baths good. Pants better.” 

Though they weren't sure how effective bathing in a swamp would be. 

They heard a low grumble and more sloshing, towards the trees, and after a long moment they slowly spread their fingers, peeking through them like a shy schoolchild. To keep track of him, of course. Nothing more than that. 

Nevermind that the first thing their eyes had the misfortune of landing on were his surprisingly shapely buttocks.

.. they found they had an incredibly difficult time looking away. 

"Piss off, you sad excuse for a salad--"

Thankfully Lucio was more focused on a set of vines hanging from one of the trees, slapping them off of the leather bag they had given him, now very worn as if he'd had it for years. They moved as if alive, curling around the strap and tugging it back, garnering more fervent smacking.

"Do you, uh, need any help?" The magician piped up, covering their face more thoroughly in case he turned around. They winced at the embarrassed squeak in their voice.

He laughed, which sounded just as awful as ever, and yet at the same time oddly endearing, making them flush harder beneath their hands. "It's fine, I can take care of myself, no need to offend your  _ delicate sensibilities _ ."

"It's called modesty, Lucio. Most  _ civilized _ people have it."

“You’re just jealous your ass isn’t this nice.” 

“I wasn’t looking at that!”

More raucous, broken laughter. “Deny it a little faster next time, maybe I’ll believe you.”

By the time they thought they had a sensible retort, Lucio had already gotten dressed and armored again, scooping them up in his arms for a bone crushing bear hug and spinning them around once before letting them back down on semi solid ground with obvious reluctance. Clearly he had a lot more strength left than they gave him credit for.

Though they weren't expecting it, they chose not to admonish him for such a bold move, mainly because they could sense no ill intent. He was genuinely happy to see them.

He remained incredibly close afterwards, practically leaning on top of them as he grabbed for their bag. "What did you bring me? You said there was a surprise. What kind of surprise??"

"Come on, it's not a surprise if I just  _ tell _ you!" They laughed and tugged it away from him, once again feeling like they were dealing with an excitable puppy instead of an aging ex-Count. "We're going to have to find solid ground, first. I wasn't expecting a swamp."

"Oh. Is that bad?" He frowned. "I just liked the  _ atmosphere _ in here."

"What, dark and spooky? Missing being a ghost?"

He reeled back as if struck, expression almost cartoonishly affronted. " _ Fuck  _ no. That sucked. Almost as bad as--" Vague gesture at his surroundings. "You know. All of this. Though at least I can eat and touch stuff in this hellscape."

As if he needed to prove his point, he was badgering at their bag again, more insistently this time, eliciting a soft tinkling of delicate ceramic somewhere in the abyss. They immediately held it out as far away from him as they could, just in case he broke something, and he lurched that much closer to follow it.

"Is the surprise food?? I smell pickles." He paused mid reach, staring up into the mangroves as if suddenly struck by an epiphany. "Wait, duh. Ground. You want ground. I can get you ground."

Before the magician could react, Lucio grabbed their hand in his golden one and abruptly tore off further into the twisting wilderness. 

They held on tight, unable to make heads or tails of where they were going, forced to trust he knew what he was doing. They couldn't help but remember Nadia's tales of his notoriously awful sense of direction.

It didn’t help that the path was growing darker and more disorienting, crowded in by thick vines twisting like restless snakes, lashing out at them, clutching to weathered gold armor that much tighter as they stumbled and nearly fell. They weren’t sure they would be able to find each other again in this mess if they lost their grip. 

They could briefly make out the silvery glimmer of clean water beneath their feet, cutting a swath in the midst of murky depths. Lucio seemed to be following it as if bound to it, right down the center, shouldering his way through the vines even as they thought they saw one wrap around his throat.

This would be easier if he had this hand and its claws free, wouldn’t it? They weren’t sure he realized that when he grabbed them.

Just when they thought the dark path had completely closed in around them, nearly suffocated in vines - they were suddenly pitched forward, ass over teakettle, what felt like solid ground beneath their hands and knees as they clumsily managed to catch themself, hoping like hell they hadn't broken anything in their bag.

"Okay, next time, just--" They began, opening eyes they couldn't remember closing.

And found two wide silver eyes staring back, Lucio pinned to the ground beneath them. 

He looked both terrified and almost  _ intrigued _ by this position, just lying dead still between their hands, clearly unsure of where to go from here. It was too dim to know for certain, but they thought they saw the ghost of a blush along pale cheeks.

"I found ground??" He offered with an awkward little grin.

"Yeah, you did, uh, good job." They said just as awkwardly, very gently patting his cheek before getting off him. "Maybe next time we don't find ground so  _ directly? _ "

"... I tripped."

Lucio slowly sat up, holding his cheek as if they'd outright hit it instead, a blush more evident on his pouting face. This close, they could definitely see dark vines twisted around his neck like the old chains or a noose, and without thinking they reached over and plucked them off him, startling him out of his pout.

"Oh.. I didn't notice.." He frowned at the vines, then shook his head and abruptly tousled their hair in turn, thankfully using the hand made out of meat. "Brambles."

"Thank you, Lucio."

They had a feeling he just wanted an excuse to touch them.

The first order of business was to make sure nothing had broken, carefully opening their bag and feeling around the contents, keeping it close to their body to prevent him from snooping. Something small squelched beneath their clumsy fingers, but it didn't seem like anything else was amiss.

For the moment he seemed to be in a bit of a mute stupor, possibly brought on by their praise, simply watching them. His eyes suddenly widened again, scrambling to yank open his own bag and shove one arm into it, coming up with the bottle of red wine they had given him before, visibly relieved to see it apparently unbroken. 

He then offered it to them with a questioning look.

"No, no, that's okay, you hold onto that. I brought us something else."

The magician got up onto their feet, surveying their surroundings. It appeared to be a clearing, surrounded by mangrove roots and thick reddish fog, a single lamp post in the very center filling the space with dim red light. Despite being open, it felt more closed off than the path had been, a clandestine little meeting area.

Meeting  _ whom _ , they weren't sure. Hopefully whichever Arcana controlled this domain didn't mind visitors.

They made their way towards the light in the center, Lucio following closely behind them - maybe a bit too close, as though he was trying to hide under their arm. Hopefully it was simple paranoia and not an indication they needed to beat a hasty retreat just yet.

They gently nudged him further behind them before withdrawing a red and gold blanket from their bag, unfolding it across the ground. Though he initially flinched back from the motion, his eyes brightened in recognition. 

"Oh, you got that from my room!" Then his expression crumpled. ".. your room, I mean."

"Yes, I picked it out especially for you. Go ahead, take a seat, it won't bite."

They settled on one end of the blanket and began to unload - two tiny teacups, white and gold, the saucers that went with them, a similarly ornate little teapot, a little gold serving tray they set in the middle, quickly covered by tiny sandwiches and tea cakes wrapped in linen and only slightly squashed. The spread was a bit out of place in this gloomy clearing, but his eyes were still bright as he gazed down at it.

"You brought me a tea party?? That's so fucking  _ cute _ ." 

He cautiously approached the other side of the blanket, nudging it with his boot before just as slowly lowering himself down onto it, setting his bag to the side, close to his hip. There was still a tense, nervous energy about him, as if he thought he wasn’t  _ allowed  _ to be here.

“Damn, you should have said something, I could have prettied myself up a little.” Lucio immediately reached for a handful of little sandwiches and stuffed them into his mouth, heedless of the different fillings. "God, I remember these."

His other hand immediately went for the tea cakes, shoving about half of them into his bag before they could stop him. 

“A special friend of Nadi’s visited today, so we had a luncheon on the grass,” The magician explained, gently batting his hand away before he attempted to grab the whole lot. "It was nice and I wasn't sure the Arcana would be willing to do something like this with you, so-- here we are."

"Having a little picnic with the enemy." He snorted, then grimaced. "Agh,  _ cucumbers _ ."

They frowned. "I don't consider you an enemy. We're past all that, remember?"

He paused in the midst of picking through the next handful of sandwiches for unwanted vegetables in order to stare at them, once again looking a bit lost and unsure of himself. 

"... then what are we??"

"Well, I was kind of hoping we could be friends."

Lucio opened his mouth, closed it, opened it again, then closed it around one squished egg salad sandwich with a very perturbed look on his face, very clearly trying to gather his thoughts. They occupied themself with magically warming up the teapot and pouring out some tea, the scent of cardamom and ginger wafting across the clearing for a moment.

“Nadi got this blend straight from Prakra, so it might be a little heavier on the spices than you’d like.” The magician hummed, offering him one of the little cups, which he took without hesitation, still staring at them in consternation.

“Why?” He said, finally.

“Because it’s a traditional--”

“Not that. You-- want to be my friend--” He shook his head. “But you don’t really  _ gain  _ anything by doing that, do you? I don’t-- I have nothing, remember? Why are you doing this?”

Their heart dropped, nearly dropping their tea with it. Considering how comfortable with them he’d seemed to be during this visit, they had almost forgotten about his  _ unique  _ perspective on interpersonal relations. He must have thought they were trying to butter him up for something.

‘I gain a friend, isn’t that enough?’ They wanted to say.

“Well-- why do  _ you  _ think I’m doing this?” They sighed instead.

“I don’t know-- maybe I’m your pity project. Maybe you’re into taking care of the downtrodden and unwanted. Taming down wild animals, that sort of thing.”

He shifted his tea to his right hand in order to lift the left, where they would be able to see the string representing the tracking spell still wrapped around the wrist. He was staring at it with a mix of adoration and resentment.

“You’ve already _ leashed _ me.”

“Oh, do you want me to take it off?” They asked, uncertainly.

His eyes widened, immediately jerking his arm back against his chest as though he expected them to take the whole thing instead of the spell. “I-- no. That’s not-- forget I said anything.”

“.. is that how you see yourself, Lucio? A wild animal? Downtrodden and unwanted?”

He flinched into his teacup, but said nothing.

“I just wanted to spend some time with you, to make you feel a little less lonely. Make things feel more  _ normal _ , I guess?” They took a sip of tea and sighed, setting the cup back on its saucer. “But if me doing this is only making you uncomfortable, I can go. I know it’s complicated for you.”

They began to move, to start getting up from the blanket, and Lucio immediately dropped his cup and lunged across the blanket to grab their arms, tugging them back down with a soft whine, once again on the verge of tears.

“Don’t-- don’t do that. Please. I’m sorry.” His grip loosened, but didn’t move away. “It’s just-- everybody I thought was my friend before betrayed me.  _ Abandoned _ me.”

“And you’re scared that if you trust me, I’ll do the same.”

After a long moment, he slowly nodded. They had a feeling this was given similar weight as admitting he didn’t want to be indebted to them.

They settled more comfortably on the blanket, gently patting his right hand with an awkward little smile. “I’m sorry, I’m not going to be your enemy just because you’re scared of making friends. You’re going to have to try harder than that to get me to fight you.”

“... I spilled my tea. Is  _ that _ grounds for a fight?” Lucio mumbled sulkily.

"No, it just means you get more tea," The magician plucked up his fallen cup and refilled it before offering it to him again. "Also, I could only find two pairs of  _ your  _ pants, so if you're not careful you're going to end up wearing the pants of a stableboy."

They couldn't help but notice he took his cup very delicately this time, his hands visibly trembling as he took a sip, rattling the ceramic when he placed it just as carefully on its saucer. His face indicated that there were indeed more spices than he liked, and yet he stubbornly took another sip as if he expected that to change.

"Tell me about Noddy's  _ friend _ ." He croaked, swallowing with some difficulty. "Would I know them?"

"Probably not, he mostly keeps to himself."

"Stuffed shirt?"

".. no shirt, actually."

Lucio grinned. "O-ho,  _ that  _ kind of friend~"

"Hey, you know what-- I just remembered there's another part to your surprise!" 

They quickly fumbled for their bag, feeling their face beginning to burn, burning even hotter as they heard that awful, endearing laugh. Nadia's friend was purely platonic, as far as they knew, but they would be lying if they said they hadn't thought about propositioning him themself, if she was okay with it.

The magician shook their head before they could think much longer on that, focusing on the task at hand. “Close your eyes and give me your hand.”

His expression fell, once again regarding them with intense suspicion.

“It’s okay, it’s not bad. You think I would bring something bad to a tea party?”

“.. m’not entirely convinced the  _ tea party’ _ s not bad.” He muttered under his breath, but after a moment, slowly extended his left arm towards them, hand open, squinching his eyes shut.

They gently took the hand, retrieving another, larger carefully wrapped ball of linen from their bag and just as carefully placing it into his palm, the sweet scent of lavender lemon and buttercream drifting across the clearing as they slowly unwrapped it.

It was a piece of cake, with decadently decorated pink frosting, slightly squashed but still recognizably cake.

“Okay, you can look now.”

One eye peeked open to inspect his gift - and then they both were wide and incredulous, staring at the cake and then the magician and back again with a similar sense of disbelief. 

“This is… it’s Noddy’s favorite--” He gawked at them. “I thought you wanted me to let her go?”

“It’s just cake, Lucio. It’s not like I brought Nadia herself here to see you.”

His expression crumpled again, slowly pulling his arm back and just staring down at the cake, tears beginning to well in his eyes, clear pain on his face. They weren’t expecting this sort of reaction. They thought he’d be overjoyed, or at least similarly excited as seeing the rest of it.

They frowned. “Do you not want it??”

“I-- I don’t know. I shouldn’t. I should get rid of it.”

His claws twitched, slightly squeezing the linen, as if he wanted to crush it but couldn’t. They weren’t sure what he would do if they tried to take it from him.

“... I changed my mind.” Lucio said after a moment longer. “It’s not forgetting that’s the problem. It’s  _ remembering _ . I remember the last time they had this cake-- no one brought me any. They didn’t want me at her party. I was sick. I was  _ dying _ . And they just-- left me there alone.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know.” They sighed, feeling like an asshole. “I just thought--”

“I knew they didn’t want me, but it wasn’t until then I really saw it. This stupid cake. A symptom of a whole other plague that’s been there for  _ years  _ and I thought I could just-- ignore it.”

“Is this what you meant by your friends betraying you?”

He scowled at them as though they had insulted him, the effect a bit lost due to the tears rolling more freely down his cheeks. “This is your fault. I hadn’t thought about that in years. I didn’t  _ want  _ to think about that. Until you came back, all I had to think about was how to survive.”

“.. that’s a terrible way to live.” The magician murmured into their teacup.

“What’s the alternative, huh? How am I  _ supposed _ to live? You think-- you think I’d be any  _ better  _ if I let myself think about any of this? You think I’d even be alive to sit here with you??”

“Lucio.. running from the past won’t help you. Maybe you  _ would  _ be better if you’d faced it head-on. This may have been a punishment, but we didn’t send you here to  _ die _ .”

He flinched from them as if struck, and they could see the fury bleeding out of his face, replaced with hurt and horrified realization, staring down at his bony right arm as if this was the first time he’d seen it. Really looking at it.

“S-so you’re saying-- I did this. I let this happen to me. All this time I could have--”

Against their better judgment, they slowly nodded. His shoulders sagged, looking as if he was about to collapse.

“Don’t worry about that, okay? All you can do now is keep going.” They attempted a smile, gently patting his right shoulder. “And eat your cake. I had to hide it from Volta to bring it here for you.”

Lucio hiccuped and stared at the cake in his golden hand for a long moment, brows furrowed in thought. He hesitantly leaned towards it, jerked his head back, leaaaaaned out again -- and stopped just short of biting into it, shaking his head and looking at them instead.

“D’you got a fork or something? I should.. probably take it slow.” He sniffled. 

"Personally I'd say forgetting is worse than remembering, because you can have good memories too." They rummaged around in their bag for a small golden fork, stolen from the kitchens, offering it to him. "Are you sure you don't have any of  _ those _ from the last time they had this cake?"

He didn't answer them immediately, clearly focused on how to properly hold the fork, stabbing the cake more than cutting it. They wondered if he'd ever tried to ask any of the Arcana to take him in, or if he'd just assumed he  _ had  _ to live like a wild animal.

".. Julian came by. We got drunk and sang songs. It was nice."

"See? Not all bad."

A small smile flickered across his lips for a moment. "Good ol' Dr. Jules. He'd probably like this place - all dark and dramatic and full of birds."

As though the word lifted a veil over their eyes, they at once realized that it was, in fact, full of birds - the clearing had gradually become much less clear during their picnic, several ravens hopping and walking closer towards them. One fluttered down and perched on their bag, another settling on Lucio's shoulder as if it belonged there.

Lucio either didn’t notice or didn’t care, the smile dropping again in favor of that distant look, not unlike how he’d seemed before asking about Nadia.

“Don’t start.”

He startled and stared at them. “Don’t start what?”

“You’re thinking about Julian.”

“... I liked Jules.” He murmured into his cake. “Am I not allowed to remember that??”

“Not if you’re going to hurt yourself with it.” They sighed, gently shooing away the raven on their bag.

His tone dropped into a growl, fixing them with a piercing stare, shadows cast from the lamp making him look a bit more deranged. For a moment it was almost like he was a completely different person - a bit closer to the person that had stolen their body to win Nadia back.

“ _ Everything  _ hurts, ███████. Make up your goddamn mind.”

And then as soon as it came, that severe look vanished, in its place the tired, almost fragile old man that quietly bundled up his cake with the fork in preparation to pack it away, clearly having lost his appetite.

“... this is nice. The-- whole--” He vaguely gestured at the remains of the tea party, not looking at them. “I don’t understand it but it’s nice. Are you gonna do it again??”

The magician frowned. “... do you  _ want _ me to do it again? I don’t want to upset you.”

“That’s the polite way of saying I screwed it up, isn’t it? I never know what to do at these things.”

“Don’t worry, I’m not going to test you on your tea party etiquette.” They attempted a smile, patting him on the unoccupied shoulder. “It’s okay, we can do something different next time.”

His eyes brightened, a cautiously hopeful look that was a bit more painful looking with the remains of tears. "You mean-- I can  _ have _ a next time? You still want to come back??"

Oh, they couldn't wait until he trusted them enough to stop questioning that at every given opportunity, like he expected them to abandon him if he didn't act a certain way, snatching away their gifts as easily as they gave them. They found themself wondering just how many people had done that to him over his long life.

"You can have as many 'next time's as you want, Lucio." They paused. "Well-- as many as I can give you before someone stops me."

".. what do I do if somebody stops you?"

"I don't know."

After a moment of deliberation, he slowly held out the bundled up cake, staring at them expectantly. "You should have this, then-- to bribe them into letting you come back. It's a good bribe."

"But it's yours--"

"Take it." He grunted, though he looked very much like he didn’t  _ want _ them to take it. “Please.”

The magician reluctantly reached for the bundle of linen - and immediately jerked that hand back to keep from losing it to the sudden blur of dark feathers that passed between them, the raven that had been on Lucio’s shoulder now flying up with the cake clutched in dark claws.

“No!”

Lucio abruptly leapt onto his feet and dashed for the street lamp, hauling himself up the tall pole with a few quick and violent strokes of his claws, perched on top of it like a bird of prey in his own right before they had a chance to stop him or even blink. They’d almost forgotten about that hidden agility.

His eyes were trained on the dark spot in the sky, hunkering down into something of a crouch, body tensed and coiled like a spring about to snap. They realized what he intended to do.

“Lucio, no, it’s okay, it’s just cake.” They got up from the blanket and stepped back, trying to judge where he’d land and if they needed to catch him. “You didn’t even want it.”

“When he comes back this way, stun him with your magic, and I think I’ll be able to grab him from here.” He wasn’t paying attention to anything but the raven. 

“I’m not helping you  _ attack _ a  _ bird _ !”

He hissed. “Fine, I don’t need you. I’ll get him myself.”

"Do  _ not _ get him! He doesn't need to be got!  _ Lucio _ !"

Oh, he was probably going to break all of the bones in his body. 

Time slowed to a halt as he shot up into the air, both arms outstretched, just as the raven was indeed coming back this way - it was  _ exactly _ like witnessing a predator in motion, a big cat making a calculated leap, lean but muscular with claws extended for the kill, dark furs billowing out behind him, backlit by the red light of the lamp beneath him, giving his body an unearthly glow.

They glimpsed black feathers slipping harmlessly through golden claws and his wide eyes of  _ betrayal _ before suddenly they were thrown to the ground, pitched backwards into a roll across the clearing by the weight of another body slamming into them, knocking the breath out of their lungs.

After a long moment, they heard a wheeze and a quiet croak of ' _ fuck _ ', just as breathless. 

Their body already ached, there was no telling wha _ t he’d _ done to himself. For the moment they just lie there, gathering the courage to open their eyes and see what the damage was.

This time they were the one pinned on their back, Lucio crouching over them, bodies way too close. His expression was similarly frightened and intrigued as when their positions were reversed, maybe more so, perhaps a fear of being caught in such a compromising position -- though they weren't sure by  _ whom _ \-- and then he was  _ grinning _ , a deeper flush in his cheeks.

".. I think I like this way better." 

His tone caused a rush of heat to their own face, unbidden - and judging by the widening of his grin, he noticed.

“Well-- are you proud of yourself?? You didn’t even catch it.” 

“Still caught something, technically.”

God, stop looking at them like that. “Yes, the mighty hunter flattens his prey. Can you get up, or did you hurt yourself?”

The grin fell into a disappointed little pout, but he slowly began to push himself up onto his knees-- a visible tremor in both arms was their only warning before he suddenly collapsed right back on top of them with a loud, almost exaggerated whine of pain, making no move to get back up.

“I think I broke it.” He mumbled solemnly into their chest.

Oh, no. “Broke what?”

“.... everything.”

“But you were sitting up just now.” They frowned, reaching down to gently grasp his right arm to start moving him off of them, eliciting a flinch and a tighter grip. “Come on, Lucio.”

“ _ Oooouuugh _ .. the pain..” Lucio moaned, staring up at them with wide, helpless eyes, almost pleading. “I would move but I can’t, ███████. It hurts so much. You-- you wouldn’t leave me like this, would you? You couldn’t bear it.”

He gave a pathetic little whimper, tears welling up in his eyes again. Their heart twisted, wondering if he was actually in horrific pain. That  _ had _ been quite a jump. 

“... no, I couldn’t.” They sighed and very gently began to stroke his hair.

“Then I guess you have no choice but to stay here and take care of me.”

There was an unmistakable smug tone to that remark, and the way he immediately snuggled up against them without a single grunt of discomfort indicated that if he  _ was  _ in pain, it wasn’t nearly that much. 

It was an act. A ruse. They had been duped.

The magician abruptly sat up, startling him and taking advantage of the resulting loosened grip to push him off their lap, maybe a bit less gently than they should. He rolled bonelessly onto his back with another pitiful whine, staring up at them like a kicked dog, inciting a brief pang of guilt. 

“Nope, I’m not falling for it. You’re fine.” They weren’t actually mad, just bemused. “There’s better ways to ask me to stay, you know.”

His expression relaxed into a regular pout. “It was worth a shot.”

“The answer is still no, by the way. I’m needed in Vesuvia.”

He flinched away from them, dropping further back against the ground as if his body had deflated, withdrawing into himself. 

“... y-you don’t have to rub it in.” 

They felt guilty all over again. “Oh, Lucio, I’m sorry.. I didn’t mean it like that.”

A flutter of dark wings startled both of them, distracting Lucio from another potential breakdown as a raven landed on his chest, settling there as if this was the most normal place for a wild animal to be. Either it wasn’t the same raven, or it had gotten rid of its stolen goods.

“Tss, of course  _ you’re  _ back. Come to kick me while I’m down, huh?”

Lucio huffed and reached up to stroke its feathers with his right hand, and oddly enough it allowed this, in fact seemed to enjoy it. The raven gave an amiable little croak and bunted up into his hand, almost playfully nipping at his fingers. 

It seemed very comfortable with him, almost as if it knew him.

“Fucking hate birds,” He groused, while gently scratching under its chin. “Awful creatures. Aren’t you, you rotten little thing?”

“That seems rather rude.”

The magician vaguely recognized that voice, a soft edge of nostalgia in their mind, like greeting a very old friend. They glanced up to find the Hanged Man’s birdlike countenance standing casually by the streetlamp, a familiar bundle of linen in dark claws.

“I was wondering when you would find me, Lucio,” He continued, stepping towards them. His tone was warm, almost fond. “So many sightings in so many realms - I was beginning to feel left out.”

Lucio jolted upright, the raven on his chest squawking in alarm and flapping away to join the masses of dark shapes dotting the mangroves. His posture was rigid, body tense. He clearly did not share that odd fondness.

“Ah, we didn’t mean to intrude,” The magician began. “I followed him here and--”

“No harm done. He  _ wanders. _ It’s to be expected.” 

The Hanged Man came to a stop within arm’s reach, and at once the former Count was on his feet, looking as though to either run or attack, stuck half-crouched somewhere in the middle. They wondered if they needed to get between them before he did anything he might regret.

“I believe this is yours?” Unperturbed, the Arcana held out the bundle of cake towards him.

“.. no it’s not.”

But he was tentatively reaching for it, claws trembling as though he expected to lose the hand if he dared make contact. 

And then he lunged for the worn leather bag on the blanket instead, roughly shoving it over one shoulder before he bolted towards the dark pathway at the edge of the clearing, not giving either of them a second glance.

“Lucio!” They called after him. “Lucio, come back! It’s okay! He’s not going to hurt you!”

He didn’t stop, vanishing into the darkness.

After a long moment, they heard a distant scream.

“Lucio!”

They couldn’t tell if it was fear or pain, but they were already preparing to run after him - stopped by the Hanged Man’s talons gently resting on their shoulder. 

“Not to worry, he’s simply trapped in the vines. They should release him if he relaxes..” 

Louder, more panicked yelling echoed from the pathway.

“.. I suppose that  _ would _ be impossible for him in his current state.” The Hanged Man sighed and shook his head. “Disentangling him will take quite some time, so you may take your leave if you wish.”

They hesitated, staring at the pathway. “I can't just-- will he be okay?”

“As you said, I don’t intend to hurt him.”


End file.
